DIRECTIONS: Read the following and answer all the questions?
http://www.americanenglishconversation.com/
http://www.freeenglishconversation.blogspot.com/
http://www.grammar-help.blogspot.com/
http://freeenglishlessons-denise.blogspot.com/
I’ll never forget the guy I dated whose three best friends were like a group of seventh-grade (mean) girls. His pals needed to “approve” me for him, gossiped way too much and spent more on clothes and hair products than I did. Ick. I just couldn’t get past his high-maintenance trio.
We’ve all been there: seemingly great guys with nightmare friends. How do you know when to deal with his buddies and when to run? We asked psychotherapist and relationship expert Ellen Chute whether each of these types of friends could be tamed:
Friend #1 — The Inside Jokester
Elizabeth, 32, of Chicago, was on the fence about a guy she’d been dating a few months, but when she met his friends, she knew that she needed to make a break. “The guy was intelligent, but he had low self-esteem,” she says. When she met his friends (who all worked in the same IT department), they didn’t include her in any conversations but instead made weird inside jokes all night. “It was awful,” she says. “His friends seemed to lack the basic social skills necessary to talk to someone they didn’t already know, and I started to see that my date was no different.”
How to make nice: First, let your date know you feel left out. Believe it or not, he may not realize you’re not hanging on their every word. Try saying, “Hey, it seems like you guys are really close, but when you tell all those stories about work people, I feel like an outsider.” If he says, “We just get like that when we’re together” — that’s not good. But if he apologies and promises to steer the topic away from inside references and middle-school hijinks, then you know he has a sensitivity chip. And who knows? You may find his friends are actually more socially evolved once they start talking about mainstream topics, like Barack Obama or global warming.
This is the guy who — like the characters Vince Vaughn inevitably plays — tries to convince your date that women are controlling and he’s better off without you. Briana, 31, of Los Angeles, can relate. She fell in love with her boyfriend right away, but loathed his best friend. He constantly put her down and tried to persuade her boyfriend to give Briana the boot. But she wasn’t going to let one jerk scare her away from a great guy. So she decided to be the bigger person and reached out to his friend directly. “When I needed to book a speaker for work, I called him, and he hooked me up with someone,” she says. “He was great and made me shine at work — and I made him shine.” He ended up apologizing and telling Briana he had her pegged all wrong. “I think he gained respect for me when he saw that I was able to separate work from our personal problems,” Briana says. Now, Briana, her beau and his best friend all hang out happily.
How to make nice: Remember, this pal isn’t your boyfriend. And just because your man thinks his immature pal is amusing doesn’t mean he values his opinions on dating. Chances are, the VV type is jealous that your man found someone great. Or, he feels threatened that you’re taking his best friend away (really!). Do let your date know if the guy says something truly mean-spirited (“You two will last maybe three weeks”). If he knows his friend is being rude to you and doesn’t do anything, or says something like, “Let it go” or “He talks to everyone that way,” then do yourself a huge favor and move on.
Friend #3 — The Player
How do you know this guy can’t respect boundaries? Because he flirts with you! When Alison, 34, of Philadelphia, started dating Sam, his best friend propositioned her. “I never told Sam about Jude coming on to me because I felt like I could handle it,” she says. “When Jude suggested that we get together alone, I said, ‘No thanks.’” But Jude continued to make her feel uncomfortable, and Alison soon realized she didn’t like Sam enough to put up with his best friend, Mr. Octopus.
How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help noticing attractive women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive, say something right away: “I’m dating your friend and am not at all interested in you.” And do tell your date, just in case he hears a twisted version of the story (“Man, it was crazy, your lady came on to me outside the bathroom”). Chances are, your date knows that his friend is a player with women; hopefully, he will (a) tell his pal to keep his hands off and (b) keep you two apart as much as possible.
Friend #4 — The Mooch
So you’re dating a guy whose roommate thinks it’s fine to tag along for Thai food or to the movies? It happens. Amy, 26, of Farmington Hills, MI, was annoyed when her date’s roommate felt it was fine to hang out with them in front of the TV during an early date. She thought: What’s with a guy who lets his roommates join in on a date? But she didn’t know how to get the roomie pal to quit inviting himself along each time.
How to make nice: Some folks are just clueless — and if your guy happens to be living with one of these unfortunate souls, you shouldn’t hold it against him. That said, it’s not a good sign if your date can’t let his buddy know he’s not welcome on dates. Let your guy know you’d love to hang out more with him — but just with him, alone. Let him know nicely that you’d prefer if the pal didn’t join the two of you anymore. If his friend continues to show up, show your date to the door.
One last word of advice: a guy’s friends are very important to him (just as yours probably are to you). So know that you may have to tolerate some times with you less-than-favorite person, but if your guy’s a keeper, it’s worth it!
Julie Weingarden Dubin writes for Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Shape. She is the author of How to Plan an Elegant Second Wedding and lives in Huntington Woods, Michigan.
How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help noticing attractive women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive?
One last word of advice: a guy’s friends are very important to him?
http://www.americanenglishconversation.com/
http://www.freeenglishconversation.blogspot.com/
http://www.grammar-help.blogspot.com/
http://freeenglishlessons-denise.blogspot.com/
I’ll never forget the guy I dated whose three best friends were like a group of seventh-grade (mean) girls. His pals needed to “approve” me for him, gossiped way too much and spent more on clothes and hair products than I did. Ick. I just couldn’t get past his high-maintenance trio.
We’ve all been there: seemingly great guys with nightmare friends. How do you know when to deal with his buddies and when to run? We asked psychotherapist and relationship expert Ellen Chute whether each of these types of friends could be tamed:
Friend #1 — The Inside Jokester
Elizabeth, 32, of Chicago, was on the fence about a guy she’d been dating a few months, but when she met his friends, she knew that she needed to make a break. “The guy was intelligent, but he had low self-esteem,” she says. When she met his friends (who all worked in the same IT department), they didn’t include her in any conversations but instead made weird inside jokes all night. “It was awful,” she says. “His friends seemed to lack the basic social skills necessary to talk to someone they didn’t already know, and I started to see that my date was no different.”
How to make nice: First, let your date know you feel left out. Believe it or not, he may not realize you’re not hanging on their every word. Try saying, “Hey, it seems like you guys are really close, but when you tell all those stories about work people, I feel like an outsider.” If he says, “We just get like that when we’re together” — that’s not good. But if he apologies and promises to steer the topic away from inside references and middle-school hijinks, then you know he has a sensitivity chip. And who knows? You may find his friends are actually more socially evolved once they start talking about mainstream topics, like Barack Obama or global warming.
Browse Local Singles at Match.com on Yahoo!
Friend #2 — The Vince Vaughn TypeThis is the guy who — like the characters Vince Vaughn inevitably plays — tries to convince your date that women are controlling and he’s better off without you. Briana, 31, of Los Angeles, can relate. She fell in love with her boyfriend right away, but loathed his best friend. He constantly put her down and tried to persuade her boyfriend to give Briana the boot. But she wasn’t going to let one jerk scare her away from a great guy. So she decided to be the bigger person and reached out to his friend directly. “When I needed to book a speaker for work, I called him, and he hooked me up with someone,” she says. “He was great and made me shine at work — and I made him shine.” He ended up apologizing and telling Briana he had her pegged all wrong. “I think he gained respect for me when he saw that I was able to separate work from our personal problems,” Briana says. Now, Briana, her beau and his best friend all hang out happily.
How to make nice: Remember, this pal isn’t your boyfriend. And just because your man thinks his immature pal is amusing doesn’t mean he values his opinions on dating. Chances are, the VV type is jealous that your man found someone great. Or, he feels threatened that you’re taking his best friend away (really!). Do let your date know if the guy says something truly mean-spirited (“You two will last maybe three weeks”). If he knows his friend is being rude to you and doesn’t do anything, or says something like, “Let it go” or “He talks to everyone that way,” then do yourself a huge favor and move on.
Friend #3 — The Player
How do you know this guy can’t respect boundaries? Because he flirts with you! When Alison, 34, of Philadelphia, started dating Sam, his best friend propositioned her. “I never told Sam about Jude coming on to me because I felt like I could handle it,” she says. “When Jude suggested that we get together alone, I said, ‘No thanks.’” But Jude continued to make her feel uncomfortable, and Alison soon realized she didn’t like Sam enough to put up with his best friend, Mr. Octopus.
How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help noticing attractive women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive, say something right away: “I’m dating your friend and am not at all interested in you.” And do tell your date, just in case he hears a twisted version of the story (“Man, it was crazy, your lady came on to me outside the bathroom”). Chances are, your date knows that his friend is a player with women; hopefully, he will (a) tell his pal to keep his hands off and (b) keep you two apart as much as possible.
Friend #4 — The Mooch
So you’re dating a guy whose roommate thinks it’s fine to tag along for Thai food or to the movies? It happens. Amy, 26, of Farmington Hills, MI, was annoyed when her date’s roommate felt it was fine to hang out with them in front of the TV during an early date. She thought: What’s with a guy who lets his roommates join in on a date? But she didn’t know how to get the roomie pal to quit inviting himself along each time.
How to make nice: Some folks are just clueless — and if your guy happens to be living with one of these unfortunate souls, you shouldn’t hold it against him. That said, it’s not a good sign if your date can’t let his buddy know he’s not welcome on dates. Let your guy know you’d love to hang out more with him — but just with him, alone. Let him know nicely that you’d prefer if the pal didn’t join the two of you anymore. If his friend continues to show up, show your date to the door.
One last word of advice: a guy’s friends are very important to him (just as yours probably are to you). So know that you may have to tolerate some times with you less-than-favorite person, but if your guy’s a keeper, it’s worth it!
Julie Weingarden Dubin writes for Cosmopolitan, Redbook, and Shape. She is the author of How to Plan an Elegant Second Wedding and lives in Huntington Woods, Michigan.
How to make nice: If it’s just a glance or two in your direction, try ignoring it (some guys just can’t help noticing attractive women). But if he makes a clear advance or says something truly suggestive?
A. TRUE
B. FALSE
B. FALSE
One last word of advice: a guy’s friends are very important to him?
A. TRUE
B. FALSE
B. FALSE
No comments:
Post a Comment